How to move home with kids without stress

Moving house can be a little bit of a stressful situation, and that’s before you have children, it can be an exciting time, and it can be a time of change. My eldest has moved twice with us, first from the home we renovated, then we rented for a while before buying the house we currently live in. We are currently gearing up again for another move at some point in the new year and I thought since I've gone through it a few times I would share what I have learnt. I've also written before about what we are looking for in terms of our new home and how to rejuvenate your current home if you have no want to move anytime soon.

But once you have searched and found the house for rent or home to buy that suits you and your family, you will have to consider many different things to ensure that your move goes smoothly as possible. What we are looking for when we move house is as little problems as possible, we are always on the lookout for potential issues, and being prepared is going to be the best way for anybody to move home smoothly. It is up there with some of the most stressful times a person can encounter in life. But it really doesn’t always have to be that way. And if you have children planning for and ensuring that it isn’t a stressful time for them, it will reduce all of the problems significantly for you. So how can we keep the stress and strain of moving house to a minimum when we have children?

Involve them in the process

Children are curious, it’s a natural instinct because children learn by asking questions, and getting involved in everything that they can, children also learn through speaking to people and finding out what is going on, and of course making sure that they are feeling safe with what is happening. If you put the children to the side when you’re moving home, you may find that they exhibit stressful behaviours. What we really want is for children to feel involved, to help with decision-making processes where possible, and feel as though they have a certain amount of control in the whole thing. This has been proven to prevent children from feeling too upset by the entire process. It’s admirable for any parents to allow children to be involved at such a stressful time with so many things to be done. Showing patience when children want to pack their own boxes, and showing kindness when they aren’t doing things exactly how they should be done around this time, it’s going to be helpful for everyone. Once you know where you’re moving, and when, you can start involving the children in the process of packing up, planning the other side, and all of the loose ends that need tying up when you move house.

Communicate

In addition to answering questions, and involving the children in the process, there are many other ways in which you can communicate with the children what is happening. It all depends on the age of the children; from ages 0 to 3, it can be challenging to explain what is happening, and they generally don’t have a great attention span at this age. But it’s always good to keep communicating, keep talking and using positive language, and ensuring that the children don’t feel excluded. This can reduce any fear that may happen around this time. Children over the age of three up to teenagers generally have A decent grasp of communication, and can quite happily discuss the whole process with you and maybe even throw some ideas into the ring, that may reduce the stress levels. Many parents are surprised at the level of maturity that some children show when they are involved in moving home. Coming up with ideas, and looking at YouTube videos about the best way to pack your moving boxes, can be useful and give the children a sense of pride as well.

Allow emotion

As adults we feel emotional when moving home, it goes without saying that no matter how long you have lived in your current house it’s going to be an upheaval on an emotional level not only a physical level, so to expect children not to feel any emotion or exhibit any of this, is naive. So expect the odd tantrum, and some tears here and there, no matter what age your children are at. Allowing this and giving your children space to feel their emotions will help reduce the stress levels overall. We can’t worry too much about how everybody will react, because even the people we know best may act unpredictably when going through significant life changes. It really is entirely normal. So allow time and space and make sure that children feel safe to share their feelings with you at all times. This takes a lot of effort and can feel overwhelming, but it is doing a great thing for your children during this time.

Expect unusual behaviour

As well as feeling emotional, and being able to deal with the potential upset, some children may act unusually. When they don’t feel like they are in control, and possibly have a fear of the unknown, they may start to hide their belongings, so they don’t need to pack them for example, or change their attitude towards their parents, this is especially true for older children, who do you know how to articulate their feelings, but now I may not be entirely comfortable doing so. It’s always a good idea to prepare children for a move, and ensure that you are available to talk at all times. If the children are aware of everything that’s happening in advance, then you will find them much less likely to act out and be upset.

Make it fun

Moving house isn’t fun, there aren’t many people who actually enjoy moving house, so making it enjoyable for your children may seem like a task that could be a little impossible, however turning packing into a game, and keeping everything lighthearted, will ensure that the children don’t feel down about the process. Even writing lists of things that they need to do can also be fun for small children because it feels more have a grown-up job, many words can be made child-friendly with a little thought. Of course, they can’t start digging things out of the attic to pack, but there’s nothing wrong with allowing them to Sellotape up boxes as long as you have plenty of time.

So take a step back and think about how children may perceive moving home, especially if it’s the first time for them, and accommodate them as much as possible. Keeping everything lighthearted and positive is a big step in the right direction.