Let's talk about sleep (or lack of)

Can we just be honest for a moment and talk about sleep and how much it changes when you become a parent. Before kids, you didn't even have a second thought about going out on a Saturday and coming home in the early hours because your bed was yours and you can stay as long as you like. That is certainly not the case now, in fact, each day I have a small sense of dread as we head into the evening because it often doesn't go how I planned with two young children one of which seems to avoid sleep like the plague.

My youngest who is nearly 2.5yrs has never slept solidly through the night, meaning from 8pm-8am, on good nights we have 1-2 wake ups on bad nights we have multiple wake ups or waking and not settling, we had a faze where he would wake up from 3am-6am and lately with the lighter nights despite blackout curtains he is often up much later than his bedtime, not due to lack of trying on our part - its hard!

When he was under 1 he was waking around 6 times a night so in reflection of that 2-3 times a night is not too bad, but when will it stop? When will I get to go into an actual deep sleep again? We have read all the books, we have tried new routines, we put him in his own bed and then when he wakes but found that co-sleeping works best, I breastfed and care about his diet, I am trying but it's exhausting. I am exhausted of people telling me what I am doing right or wrong, the thing is there is no right or wrong because the one thing I have learnt when it comes to kids is that one size never fits all. Just because you have one child who sleeps is no guarantee the sibling will do the same which is what has happened in our case.  I used to complain a lot about it, now I try and accept this is the way it is right now because that helps to soften the blow each night and I do know this will not last forever.

Living with the reality of a child who does not sleep through the night means that we have had to learn how to adapt to that and how to get the best sleep we possibly can regardless of it being broken each night. I know a lot of other mothers are in the same predicament as me and I wanted to share a few thoughts on things that have helped while we ride this wave of sleepless nights.

1. Invest in a really good memory foam mattress that is supportive of your back and aids better sleep. You can read about the mattress we are using here. I feel that it's really important to make your bed as comfortable as possible, whether that means having an orthopaedic mattress or even an adjustamatic bed it's worth it.

2. Not drinking anything caffeinated before bed. There is nothing worse than heading upstairs for a few hours before our youngest wakes and not being able to drift off.

3. Making sure the room is the right temperature which I find is really important for a restful sleep.

4. Cutting down on noise pollution, so making sure all the windows are shut, our phones are switched off and all appliances are turned off.

5. Making our bedroom a place of calm with no distractions or clutter. We have minimised our bedroom a lot lately, removing any clutter and simplifying things.

6. Using supplements - this can be really useful to help you drift off. Even just camomile tea to help relax the mind or using sleep drops to promote deeper slumber can really aid a good night's sleep.

I do live in hope that my youngest sleep issues are going to get better and we will continue to try different things in the hope that they help but my main goal is simply to work around that and get as much as sleep as I possibly can because either way, it will sort itself out in the end.