The Emotional Impact of Divorce on Parents

*Guest post

There can be many reasons why a couple decide to end their marriage and often its for the best of everyone involved, however that doesn't mean it's easy by any measure. Whatever it is that triggers divorce proceedings, it can be a particularly emotional time – even when parting ways amicably. After all, this is the end of a huge chapter in their life.

Things can become particularly emotive if there are children too. If you’re a parent who is considering divorce or if you’re already in the middle of divorce proceedings, you might find that there’s an added mental toll.

Your children’s wellbeing

At this time, it’s likely that you’ll be trying to juggle your own feelings as well as those of your children. This is, understandably, a huge change for them, so you’ll need to consider their emotions too.

Back in 2019, there was a significant study by the Institute of Education which revealed that parental separation is more likely to affect the mental health of children aged seven to 14. It was the first major British study that looked at the link between divorce or separation on children’s mental health.

Being aware of how your child is processing this is important. They might feel confused about what’s happening. There’s a chance they’ll think they’re to blame in some way, so it’s important that you and your ex-partner take the time to reassure them that this isn’t the case.

There are resources available to help you guide your child through this period and it’s worth seeking tools and support. You can then approach this in a way that’s appropriate for your child.

 

Your mental health

However, it’s also important to remember your own mental wellbeing at this time. As a parent, if you’re struggling or finding that the divorce is making you feel anxious or stressed, which are very common when facing such a significant life change, give yourself permission to address this. By taking the steps to look after your own mental health, you’ll be better placed to care for your children.

Here are some ways that you might want to approach this:

Building a strong support network

You will need a lot of different types of support right now, from practical input from professionals to emotional help from friends and family.

Speak to those you trust and lean on them if you’re feeling stressed of anxious about your divorce. By opening up, you could find that it’s easier to tackle your emotions.

If you want to share your feelings but you’re not ready to do so with someone who’s close to you – or if you simply want to have several options where you can talk about your mental wellbeing – look into support groups in your area. Also, consider therapy if you feel that could benefit you.

 

Look at the legal side

There are the legalities to consider too. Speaking to, and working with, child law solicitors will help you to understand the legal process and how it affects your children. By sorting through the technicalities, you may feel more organised both on a practical level, but also on an emotional one.

The impact of parental support on children

By being well supported, you’re in a good place to look after your child’s wellbeing. Taking the pressure off yourself by relying on your network means that you can focus on your child and how they’re navigating this period. This, in turn, can make the process much more manageable.